Monday, February 16, 2009

In the Neighbor's Dog House

Eric M. of Citrus Heights, Calif., thought he knew the name of dog next door because his neighbor's wife always yelled "Shut up, Ralph!" when the pooch barked. Eric followed suit when the dog's yapping bothered him -- he'd holler to Ralph over the fence and tell him to pipe down. But one day Eric made a startling discovery as he chatted with his neighbor's wife. "Ralph seems like a good dog most of the time," he said politely.

"Dog?" Replied the woman, confused. "Ralph is my husband's name."

A Shocking Encounter

Roger I. of Newport Beach, Calif., paid dearly for tinkling in public the night he and his carousing friends were drinking beer in a shopping center parking lot. When the call of nature came, Roger chose a nearby bush. In mid-stream, he jumped straight up and howled like a dog. He hadn't seen the electrical socket used for outdoor lighting and received sobering jolt for the oversight. "My hair has been curly ever since," claims Roger.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Dad Spends Quality Bumbling Time

Picture this classic scene: a teenage son is shooting hoops in the driveway when his dad drives up after a hard day. Dad sees a potential bonding moment with his son. And he's a bit guilt-ridden, because he's been spending too much time at the office lately.

In an uncommon burst of energy, dad drops his briefcase, streaks across the lawn and calls to his son for the fast-break pass. The son happily plays along and rockets the ball to his dad, who leaps for a lay-up in his three-piece suit. The only twist in the oft-seen scene is dad's ankle when he lands. The injury occurs after dad rips the crotch out of his expensive trousers. He misses the shot by a mile, too.

That's John N.'s dad of Downey, Calif., and he loves him just the same. "Dad might think he missed out on a lot of good times with me," says John. But in those small moments, he gave me more laughs than he'll ever know."