Love's Blunders

• She ain't choosy - Marilyn B. of Slymar, Calif., addresses her cats like regular human beings -- but her neighbor didn't know that. One evening she stepped onto her back porch and called out to her feline friends in the usual manner: "Any of you guys want to come to bed with me?" Suddenly, a voice shot back in the darkness, from over the fence. "Thanks for the offer," her male neighbor said. "But my wife wants me to do the dishes." Marilyn now opts for a simple "here, kitty kitty" to summon her pets.
  
• Kiss and don't tell - While at the airport to pick up her parents, Karen L. of Easley, S.C., admired an affectionate couple approachingfrom a distance on the walkway. They were hugging and kissing -- obviously crazy about each other. "Why can't my boyfriend smother me with tenderness like that in public"" Karen asked herself. Her answer came when the couple got closer: the frisky man WAS her boyfriend -- or at least he had been until that moment.
  
• She looked familiar -- Brad P., an executive from Milwaukee, WI, had endured an especially hard day at the office, so he looked forward to his date that night -- even though it was a blind date. His brother had arranged the match through a friend, who claimed the girl Brad was scheduled to meet was in the same industry. "Great," he thought. "Right off the bat, we'll have something in common." He was right -- they did have a lot in common. It turns out, they both worked for the same company, and in the same department. In fact, the girl was Brad's receptionist, whom he had fired that day! They didn't have much to say to each other after all.

An All-Too-Familiar Ring to It

Anna K. of Lake Forest, Calif. made the mistake of playing with her wedding band in a darkened movie theater. As she was fidgeting, the ring slipped off her finger and she heard that familiar "clink" when it hit the floor. To her horror, the next sound she heard was the ring rolling down the sloped theater floor, underneath the seats. The encore performance was searching the sticky floor in the front of the theater -- on hands and knees -- after the late show had ended.

Breaking His Groove

Linda W. of Bloomfield, Colo., came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from what she perceived as a deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Regrets, He's Had a Few

Bob L., of Cherry Hill, NJ, has always had a habit of losing things. Usually, there are no serious consequences. But Bob does wince when he remembers that gorgeous blonde with sparkling eyes he met in college. She gave Bob her number just before she headed home to New York for the Summer, and told him to call her when he was in town. Of course, he lost the slip of paper with her number, and never bothered to track her down. The girl turned out to be Meg Ryan -- the Meg Ryan. He realized it when he saw her on the big screen for the first time a few years later. Even her comedies bring on the sadness now.

It Does Take Two, Right?

Beatrice C., a German native living in Fremont, Calif., wished someone would've warned her about words that sound alike in English. She might've spared her American-born husband Roger a little embarrassment during a bike ride one day. She got ahead of him, then had to backtrack to find him among a crowd of other bikers on the road. "There you are!" Exclaimed Beatrice. "I was half way through the intercourse when I noticed you were not there."

Roger turned beat read, the spoke loud ebough for the crowd to hear. "You mean half way through the intersection, I think, dear."

A Tee'd Off Bride

A Florida woman had a ball -- literally -- at her garden wedding held near a country club. The ball -- the kind used on a golf course -- flew from the greens and knocked her in the head, as she was exchanging vows with the groom. She regained consciousness, but didn't heed the sign: a year later, she was divorced.