In the Neighbor's Dog House

Eric M. of Citrus Heights, Calif., thought he knew the name of dog next door because his neighbor's wife always yelled "Shut up, Ralph!" when the pooch barked. Eric followed suit when the dog's yapping bothered him -- he'd holler to Ralph over the fence and tell him to pipe down. But one day Eric made a startling discovery as he chatted with his neighbor's wife. "Ralph seems like a good dog most of the time," he said politely.

"Dog?" Replied the woman, confused. "Ralph is my husband's name."

A Shocking Encounter

Roger I. of Newport Beach, Calif., paid dearly for tinkling in public the night he and his carousing friends were drinking beer in a shopping center parking lot. When the call of nature came, Roger chose a nearby bush. In mid-stream, he jumped straight up and howled like a dog. He hadn't seen the electrical socket used for outdoor lighting and received sobering jolt for the oversight. "My hair has been curly ever since," claims Roger.

Somebody's Mother

Carol B., of Worcester, Mass., was only trying the break the ice at the bridal shower she was attending. So when an older woman entered the room wearing a mini-skirt, platform shoes, gaudy jewelry and tons of makeup, Carol leaned over to a woman next to her and said: "Wow! Check that lady out. Maybe she thinks this is a costume party and she came as a tramp!" The young woman next to Carol made no reply, but stood up and signaled for the older woman Carol had just dissed. "I'm over here, mom," she said.