Senior Swimmer

At a lakeside family picnic, Vinal M.'s granddaughter, Susan, persuaded him to join her for some rowboating. He wore his Sunday best — slacks, dress shirt, tie and jacket — hardly a fitting ensemble for the occasion. Vinal may have been hoping to avoid soiling that attire as he cautiously placed one foot in the boat. Or perhaps his bifocals made the transition more difficult. In any case, the distinguished-looking old man stood with one foot on the dock, one foot in the boat and the distance between the two ever increasing. Within seconds he was doing the splits. This was not a pretty sight, given the old guy’s barrel shape and stubby legs. Reaching out her hand in a last desperate attempt to help him aboard, Susan unwittingly pushed the boat even farther from the dock. The laws of physics ran their course: with one foot pointed east and the other aimed due west, Vinal descended into the lake with a mighty splash. He sputtered to the surface, groping for his spectacles. A lifeguard rushed over, and dragged him onto the dock. Vinal eventually forgave his Susan. He’s quite flexible about things, she learned.